To stop overthinking, first, let me tell you about what is thinking. Thinking is the process of collecting thoughts by questioning and answering to your memories and imagination. It is a continuous process, and mind always wanders with this kind of thinking, there is no problem actually. It is the greatest gift that nature has given to you.
But, still, you are facing a problem because thinking has happened against you. So, your thoughts are against you. Why it is happening against you because you are thinking about something which is unpleasant.
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Pleasant and Unpleasant thoughts
When you are in a relationship, you will think over and over about your partner, but you will not find it is a problem because it makes you pleasant.
Now, after the breakup, if you think about your partner you feel unpleasant.
Understand this both cases
You are thinking about the same person in two different times once you are feeling pleasant and other time you are feeling unpleasant.
Thinking is not the problem here but situations made one as a pleasant and other as unpleasant.
You can’t do anything with the situations. But, you can stop this overthinking.
Stop being worry about Memories and Imagination
You are not thinking about the past or future. You are thinking about memories and imagination, and the problem is you are not aware of those thoughts. If you are aware of the thoughts, you will come to a decision, and solve it. But that’s not happening to you because you are too much attached to the suffering of problems in the past and you are already identified that the future is going to be a problem. So, to stop this, first, you need to understand the difference between the aware and unaware of thinking.
Difference between Aware and Unaware thoughts
Unaware thinking
Now, just close your eyes for 30 sec. After completing, once observe you have random thoughts.
Aware thinking
Now, Once again close your eyes for 30 sec but now observe every thought.
The difference between these two thinking is thoughts which are unaware of is controlling you. But the thoughts which you are aware of is controlled by you. In unaware you live in the memories or the imagination, but in the aware, you are living in the present.
I will tell you one effective way to understand. You went to the beautiful scenery of waterfalls and when you view the scenery do you think about memories and imagination. No away right, you just consciously observe the waterfalls. So, start observing consciously about thoughts so that you can live in the present moment.
Note down the thoughts
Now, note down the thought which is against you in a paper. Try to find the solutions for the problem. If, you are worried about the memories tell yourself that this is the past nothing I can change and if you are anxious about the future tell yourself future is not in my hands it happens how it happens to be. Sometimes, Even if you say that past and future is not the matter, but still, mind wandering towards those thoughts. So, you need to find the solutions in a rational manner than with emotions.
For Example:
I lost my job. (Memory)
Worrying about the future. (Imagination)
In this case, Find out what are reasons are for losing the job and accept it. Now, find the possibilities for the future. After finding out you will have a positive mindset. So, that you can stop the overthinking which is against you.